Happy or Proud

I talked to MG last night (alias MariGrace) and we caught up on what's been going on in each others lives. She's happy for once in her personal life and struggling in her career.  Me?  I'm just putting in my time until retirement and happy as a clam to simply "be" and watch my kids and grandkids grow and prosper.

MG told me about her future education plans and her concern that the only jobs available to her right now in the nursing field might not fit into those plans.  I mentioned her sister Sarah's struggle to juggle full time nursing with continued full time college courses and I told MG how I just did not understand what motivated the two of them to go through all this stress to further their careers.  I stated plainly that such over achievement certainly did not come from me.  And that I did not know how or why they did it.

She blew me away when she said "We're just trying to make you proud."

Are you kidding me?  I stuttered and was at a loss for words.  Then I tried to tell her in the only way I knew how that I would be happier if they were happy than I would be proud of their success!  "Does that even make sense?",  I asked her.  And she said, "Yes."

Do I want them to be successful?  Of course I do.  But what I really want, what I've always dreamed of, was for them to be happy.  I mean really happy at whatever they chose to do.  Call me simple, call me unmotivated, just call me and tell me you are in love with your life and your choices and your partners and your future.

Does this make me a bad mom?  I don't think so. I love my daughters.  They are the one thing in life that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I did right.  Nothing matters to me except their happiness.