Seems to me that when someone does or says something that hurts anothers feelings, they need to own the consequences. Never mind the right or wrong of whats been done. Say it's an honest deed or word, but the obvious result will be injury to another. I hate it when the recipient replies with an "ouch", and then the perpetrator of the wound denies their actions or their intent to cause pain. I've been a recipient of such an injury (note I did not say victim). I have reacted by saying "Damn that kinda hurts." and what do I get? Backpedaling, double talk, and even worse, my God it's my own fault to begin with. I'm feeling pain, and I'm being told that I've inflicted it upon myself. Now that's just not fair!
Case in point. Another family holiday outing, Memorial Day. The annual picnic of tension, family drama, back biting and just more fun and games. Sarah has managed to take the avoidance road once again by being on call at the hospital. No one notices that she sets her own schedule. No fault no foul. She escapes without injury. Myself? No excuses. Besides I have a new grandson and I'm eager to meet him. He was born on Mothers Day while I was on vacation in Cancun. I returned from Mexico on the 16th and am looking forward to the picnic in spite of the fact that I know it will be the usual family fiasco. Seeing Mathew for the first time is worth the sacrifice. Not to mention the fact that I miss my Boo.
Then along comes the Swine Flu. A chance for the media to grab headlines with scare tactics. Of course the public falls for it. Flights are canceled, and hotels lose reservations left and right. I don't give it a second thought. I go. I have a great time. I'm perfectly healthy. I return home tanned and rested and ready to meet my grandson.
Only problem is my daughter, Wendy, and my son in law have fallen for the headlines too. They are terrified that I might be carrying the swine flu, and they request a reasonable quarantine, before seeing the grand kids. OK...I don't have to agree, but I can certainly respect their opinion and assume that Memorial Day (10 days after my homecoming) will be considered a safe quarantine period. Not so says my son in law. A fourteen day quarantine is required. That means, no Memorial Day picnic with the family for me. Should I laugh or cry? Get down on my knees and thank God for the freedom of spending a truly fun and relaxing weekend with people outside of my family, or be pissed because I've been refused an audience with my new grandchild? I am both.
I accept their decree with a reasonable amount of dignity. I understand that being uninvited to a family picnic is not the end of the world and I make arrangements with Wendy to visit on June first. A ridiculously safe 16 days after my return from the land of disease and terror. I don't mention the fact that taking a one week old baby to church on Sunday seems a little risky to me. I guess Christian germs don't cause sickness anymore. But I'm not bitter.
Rudy and I have an absolutely wonderful Memorial Day weekend. We discover a fantastic Mom and Pop Italian restaurant in Euclid and spend an enjoyable evening dining and visiting with Sarah and her boyfriend, Jim. All day Sunday we bar-b-que with friends and bask in the unusually perfect Cleveland weather. Life is perfect. I've forgotten the injury. We've planned an easy day on Monday recuperating from the active weekend. We have promised to join friends for a birthday dinner that evening. All is good and right in the world.
Then I get a call from Wendy. She asks if we would like to come to the Memorial day picnic after all? What? Apparently, at the eleventh hour, they've researched the swine flu and discovered it only has a five day incubation period. Go figure. Amazing what you can learn from the Internet at the last minute. I explain calmly that we've already made plans. She suggests that we take at least an hour out of our busy schedule to drop in on the picnic and see Mathew and Boo. When I remind her of the fact that they were the ones to insist on the two week quarantine, she says that I didn't give them a chance to think things through and research the flu. Are you kidding? So this is my fault?
Yes. Apparently I have caused my own pain and now I don't even care enough to visit my new grandson. Suddenly I'm the bad guy and I have no idea how this all happened. But you know what? She's right. I don't care. I understand that parents are over protective. I understand that kids expect us to be there when they need us, but not when they don't. I realize that I really shouldn't have a life outside of motherhood. But guess what? I do! And I'm not ashamed of it. I learned a long time ago that "If you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.......then don't" So I didn't go to the picnic and I won't see my new grandson until June first, and I had a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend anyway.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment