Waiting for Sunshine

Mid winter depression has settled over me like a blanket. Not a warm comforting wrap, but rather a musty, smothering, itchy straight jacket. Even my vitamin D supplements aren't helping in the absence of sunshine. And winter brings more than cold, snowy sunless hours, it carries along with it flu, and cabin fever.

I love my grandchildren, but during these virus laden months they become little Petra dishes of cold and flu germs and as I grow older, the infections they pass on to me seem harder and harder to shake off. Poor Boo caught an upper respiratory infection a few weeks ago and landed in the hospital. Without a spleen to fight off common infection, she is helpless against viral invaders. While her mom tended her in the hospital, her brother Matt needed full time care at home. Grandma Bush and I took time off from our work week to share this responsibility. There is nothing like an eight month old baby blowing snot bubbles out his nose and screaming for his Mama, to suck the energy right out of you. I was reminded during that 24 hour stint why we have children when we are young.

I don't care how many times you wash your hands or try to protect yourself from catching the flu, a baby breaks through every sterile defense known to mankind. And so, I ended up sharing my grand children's illness. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have it any other way when it comes to being there for my kids, but I now long for the sunshine, a cough free nights sleep, and the strength to get through the four ten hour work days which lie ahead of me this week. With my 60th birthday looming in the near future, I feel older than I've felt in a long time.