A Different Kind of Holiday

Thanksgiving approaches, and with it comes all the anxiety of choosing who to share it with. With families as diverse as ours the choice is not always easy and seldom pleasant. I've had enough pain and chaos in my 60 years of life to switch my fight or flight mode into a permanent flight pattern. The bickering between my married daughter and her husband, and literally all of his family members, sets my teeth on edge. And yet I want to be with my family for the holidays.

Rudy and I are no longer a couple so at least the problem of having to spend the holidays with his family is not an issue. I love his family, but his daughter is coming home again for Thanksgiving and she carries an overweight suitcase stuffed with drama. All the joy of the season is sucked into the black hole of her suffering. Yes, she does suffer from a serious illness, but its been over a year now and it's still all about her instead of the actual joy of living. And yet I miss being with Rudy for the holidays.

Scott and Michelle have a fun time with her parents and I could easily invite myself for dinner. But I will be vacationing in Cancun with them the week after Thanksgiving and it seems a bit much to include the holidays in our togetherness this year. Sarah and Jim both either work or are on call most holidays. That's the sacrifice nurses and police officers make for the rest of us.

MG and my sister live too far away to share a simple turkey dinner with them. I really really miss my big sister.

In all of this, Sarah has come up with a perfect plan. One that for once meets my need and hers for family time minus all the chaos and drama. Since she is on call and Jim will be working, we plan to cook a full Thanksgiving meal together. Just the two of us. We will begin with a sleep over the night before and then spend Thanksgiving sitting in our PJs watching the parades on TV while the turkey cooks. She's a vegetarian so it may seem pointless, but it's the tradition that matters not the leftovers. And there will be lots of leftovers. I will probably be spending all of Friday making pot pies. After we eat, I will make the trip to Wendy's home where most of the chaos should be winding down due to the overstuffed relatives. I will share a dessert with them, hug my grand kids, help Wendy do up the dishes,( since no one else ever does) and then head home for a quiet evening.

Of course it could all go wrong. All it would take is one car accident or heart attack to force Sarah to head to the hospital, leaving me alone with my holiday plans. So all of you out there stay off the roads and stay well so that I can enjoy Thanksgiving this year.