I have continued to write and visit my ex boy friend's brother, Steve, who is incarcerated at the Grafton prison facility because? Well simply because he's a nice guy and he asked me to please not leave him behind like all of Rudy's other wives and girlfriends, when Rudy decided to dump me for his ex wife. So here I am on a Super Bowl Sunday speed dialing the prison to make arrangements for a simple visit next Saturday with Steve. It will be Valentines Day weekend so the lines are constantly jammed with people trying to visit their loved ones. Me? I'm just trying to make arrangements to visit a very dear friend. Steve asked me to come this particular weekend because they pass out flowers to all visitors during this romantic holiday. Flowers which he personally has grown in the prison green house and re potted in preparation for this weekend. Steve wants me to have one of those plants. Well, actually he doesn't want me to have just any plant.
Since we write each other on a regular basis, Steve is aware of the fact that I'm not partial to flowers. If you can't eat it, I don't want to grow it. So he has created a very special gift for me. It's two different flowering trees set together in one pot. One produces variegated red flowers and the other produces white flowers. He actually believes that I won't kill it with my black thumb. So I have to be there this Saturday to receive this gift which is being guarded by another inmate who is his trusted friend.
Steve and I have formed the most amazing friendship, and whether or not the world understands, has simply become irrelevant. He's an honest, gentle and wise man whom I consider it an honor to be friends with. He sees me as some kind of angelic woman who visits him as a person instead of a convict. We laugh at the ridiculous friendship we've formed and affectionately label ourselves "The Convict and The Cougar" In case you don't get the joke, he's the convict and I'm a whole lot older than him so I'm the cougar. But none of this really matters when we spend four hours together laughing and talking and just being friends.
When I write him and ask, " What if our families get upset about our visits?" he simply says, "What if I become the best friend you've ever had?" When I discuss relationship issues with him he solves the most difficult problems with simple wisdom that always takes me by surprise. How could one be incarcerated for over twenty six years and be so wise? I'll tell you why. Because he deals with the most intense individuals you will ever encounter in the most volatile environment you can imagine, and he does it with tact and a cool head instead of violence. He has turned survival into an art form and has not given in to the cruelty or hardness of his environment.
Hold on! After twenty three minutes of speed dialing I have a ring tone!
At last, the visit is arranged and we will be able to enjoy each others company for four hours next Saturday. He will be allowed to present me with a gift of his own making, which I pray I will not murder. And life will blossom into whatever absurd reality we make of it.
Are we crazy? Perhaps. But you know what? I really don't care anymore. I'll match our Convict and Cougar stigma with anyones narrow minded and hypocritical judgement. Do you know what Steve's goals are when and if he receives early parol? He wants to give back to everyone who gave to him. He wants to pay back all that he took from society. As his friend, I will stand proudly beside him and pay it all forward.
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