On Target Review

Shortly after purchasing my porch swing from Target, I received an e-mail inviting me to post a review for said product. I like my new swing. Heck, I love my new swing. The instructions may have been garbage, but since I wasn't the one who had to assemble it, I could forgive that tiny little flaw. I decided to write a glowing review and post it for all the world to see on the Target web site. I had the time to spare and thought "How long could it take?"

I followed the link provided in the e-mail to the site where I was to post my review. I was met with another request. Please register. Register? Why? They knew who I was. They'd sent me the e-mail. They had my credit card number from my on line purchase and my address to which they delivered the product. Hell, they knew me better than my boyfriend. After all, I've never given Rudy my credit card number.

I shrugged off my annoyance and began the registration process. Once again I thought, "How long could it take?" Name, address, phone number, e-mail address, birthday, sex? Slightly perturbed, I plugged in all the usual info and hit the enter button. One more request appeared on screen, Please create a password for your account. My account? What account? I was simply trying to write a review. I hate creating passwords! I can never remember them anyway, so whats the point? The only thing a password protects my accounts from is ME.

However, I am not a quitter, so I obediently typed in "abuela" and hit enter. In red letters, the following reprimand appeared on the screen. Your password must be 8 digits long and contain both numbers and letters. Well why didn't they say so in the first place? I typed in "abuela$%#*" and hit enter. Once again in red letters I was informed Your password cannot contain any characters or symbols. What the %#*&#? OK "abuela60" I hit enter. A new screen appeared with the following request, Please retype your password to verify. Shit! I knew I'd forget it! No problem, there was a little box there for seniors like myself to click on when we loose track of those pesky passwords. "Forgot your password? Please enter your e-mail address and we will mail your password to you." Wonderful! I minimized the Target site and logged into my e-mail account where I found the password prompt for "abuela60". I wrote it down this time and went back into the Target review site.

At long last I actually made my way to the window that opened on to a clear white screen. Like a fresh clean piece of paper, it was waiting for me to write my review. First, however, I was asked to rate the swing on a 1 to 5 star rating scale. I really wanted to give it a 5, and almost did, but the instructions really were bad, so I indicated a 4 star rating instead. After which, I began my glowing review:


"I got a really great deal on this product from Target with a sale price and free shipping. It arrived within a few days of purchase. It is sturdy, comfortable and perfect for the patio. "(Almost done)..............


Suddenly a warning from Microsoft popped on to my screen: "The server has encountered a problem and needs to shut down. We are sorry for any inconvenience. Would you like to send a report?" Multiple choice answers appeared: A. send report B. don't send. Where was C.? The one that says NO DON'T SHUT DOWN! Right before my very eyes, the screen began dissolving from top to bottom, erasing my unfinished review, and revealing only my desk top background. Fortunately its a picture of Rudy with his shirt off, grinning at me like a fox. If not for his silly grin, I might have been tempted to throw the keyboard through the monitor.

I'd had enough for the evening. Somehow I'd lost my enthusiasm for my swing. As I said before, I am not a quitter, and so, tomorrow, when I am more calm and have more time, I will try once again to write my review. This time it will be short and sweet and more to the point. "This product is a piece of crap!"