The Binds That Tie

Ahhh the holidays. How they bring out the best in us and in those we share blood ties with. Family gatherings fueled by chaos, agendas, grudges,years and years of baggage and oh yes the dogs. Hundreds of dogs in all breeds and sizes. Everyone must bring one. I'm the only one who comes alone, but no one even notices. I reach behind me to pull some mutts nose out of my backside while brushing fur off the black pants I knew I should not wear, and everyone just assumes one of these adorable creatures must be mine. I laugh every time I see an in law or out law greet one another with a stiff hug, and then slobber all over the dogs. Maybe the dogs really are part of the family bloodline. I've heard John refer to his dad many times as a son of a......!

Then there's the holiday feast. My daughter spends hours preparing the seating chart so that no one sits next to someone they are not currently getting along with; or perhaps an Ex. Sometimes that's just impossible, and the resulting dynamics are truly entertaining. Well, at least to me, because my mother has moved back to Wisconsin at long last, and, I'm the one person who no longer has a personality conflict around the dinner table. Of course the irony of saying Grace before eating and conversation begins, is never lost on me. While they pray and give thanks, I'm thinking, "God ...I hope nobody dies today!"

Politics, religion, problems at work, morals, all those wonderful subjects that create lively conversation; these are the things we speak of! I choke on my turkey
as a certain someone brings up her vegetarian ideals once again. Then grab another fork full from the huge serving platter just to spite her. One of the Exes mentions a money matter which might have been best said in private, and all conversation stops. I can't bear the silence, so I rush to fill the pregnant pause. "Would you pass me the mashed potatoes please?" I say. "How many of you guys voted for Obama this year?"

By the end of the day, dogs are ruining the carpets because everyone has snuck them greasy left overs. Grown ups are half asleep on the couch watching a football game. Boo is bouncing off the walls from too much holiday excitement. My daughter has a headache, and I'm doing the dishes with someone else's Ex. All in all another perfect holiday. I can't wait for Christmas!